Chapter 12 ; Promises

He promised to take her hands
if it a secret ;
He took back all his words ;
Hurtful,
She was happy !
But will it last ??
She's trusting every litle single miny words he told her
It's just how she fall for him

She din't care what he had done
Because that's what the wonderful when you fall for somebody
HIM

She's in love with him

Chapter 11; Complications★

''It's twilight, '' Edward murmured, looking at the western horizon , obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as gazed unseeingly out the windshield .
I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine.
'' It's the safest time of day for us,'' he said , answering the unspoken question in my eyes.
''The easiest time . But also the saddest, in a way... the end of another day, the return of the night . Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?'' He smiled wistfully.
''I like the night. Without dark. we'd never see the stars.''I frowned. ''Not that you see the here much''
He laughed,and the mood abruptly lightened.
twilight
★

Yesterday,she was by the beach
sitting alone and dreaming while writing a post on the blog
She's lost and confused
★
Whole night broadband went haywire
So it;s our love digi
the yellow man
I'm like stucked alone at the beach while my friends enjoying merdeka eve
Katrina asked me whether am i going clubbing tonight
I'm like hell NO! stopped clubbing
SAY NO TO CLUBBING xD
got several invitation to party weee~
but end up >< PPK PeoplexD
yesterday was so tired
my partner of the night
twilight book and laptopxD
and i cant be with the beach because it will make me cryT.T
anyway, is ok I CRY LOUDLY weee~
Dad and mum still call me baby
shh.
my dark little secret xD
yesterday weather was damn nice >< din't rainxD
be happy for it ><
★
when i got home; got stupid 38 visitor
38monkeyxD and her wife><38>
until now i still don't know their name><
she will kill me !!wee~
Guild got stupid and 38 gathering at 10 at segafredo
@@
I was invited= =
Yesterday got scolding from aunty
BECAUSE
they came and I was not at home
><'' see wa kong liau they is 38
IT'S DIGI FAULT!!!!!
I went with them finally;
I went about 20 minutes then terbang jor= =
I met banyak gamers !OMG!!!
I met my game partner @@''
DIA IALAH BOY@@''
sumore lie to me!!!
say dia tomboy@@''[who care's ]
GO DIE !!!
Sumore bring dia punya real gf@@
intro to me walala~
we are just FRIENDS!
at sega celebrating dia punya bfday@@''20th
Now i got it ; why 38monkey and panda wanted me go so much
Guild ranking up top 20 jorxD
Thanks to saya punya member la
They wan tangkap me go clubbing ishhhhhhh
me terbang home better
Go sleep better~

★
Maid is going home in 10days time
house chores@@
im doing the laundaryxD

★still need edward guy★

Chapter 10; ★CLINGING ♥

★
definition of clinging
to adhere closely ;
stick to;
hold on tight;
as by grasping or embracing each other;
to be or remain close;
★
she walks by the beach;
passing through couple's
she left a bottle by the beach;
in the letter wrote;
★
Do you know ? Your hurting me indirectly ;
But does it matter now?
Obviously ; it doesn't since the first second i fall for you
I wondering why would there boundaries between us
Remember what we used to talk about ?
Remember where we meet?
Remember what we did?
I know because u meant so much to me
Every little single thing you said to me
Hurtful , cold and warm touch
I will never forget
Although you may seem so cold ;
Very cold; self centred ;
that is very indeed close to edward characters;[twillight]
But i'm sure and felt so warm with your presence here
By the time you realise i wouldn't be sure of your reactions
★
I don't know why i'm attracted to you
Is there reason for it ?
A reason to say no! NEED NOT TO HAVE REASON!
I have tons of reasons ;
Because i felt warmth with you
Because you gave me secure feeling
Because you gave me irresistible feeling
Your love is my anti natural-depressant
Your love helped me to re-discover myself
Just being with you feels like I can defy the whole world
I like your small gestures that speak volumes about how much you care.
★
Everything i like about you=]
your cold shoulder ; your pale face; your seductive voice
ALL THIS MAKE ME ATTRACTED TO YOU
★
One thing i wanted you to tell me;
is how much i meant to you
All my hope is=]
Can we just DON'T care what people will say ?
and kept it a secret to oneself

★
or being with me is something to be you afraid?
embrassed? or what? can you just tell me?
please don't pretend what you're feeling

★

★cherry needs an answer ; that come from your heart★

♥ その過剰； 不幸

♥
It's Over
She kept thinking of him =(
♥
They run out of reasons;
They run out of words and time ;
She's waiting for him;
She's needs him more than anything else
She's paying it again
Her sins ;
Glimpse through the window
befall of the snow;
★
She feeling sad
She wrote;
It's kinda big obbession
It's ridiculous
It's been months
and some reasons is just that she's just
can't get over it
But she determine
waiting for him
★

★starmoon★

Chapter9; him ♥

him ♥
his someone i look to every morning
his; someone i will lay my heart safely on
his; someone i'm trying hard to understand
his; someone i dream of each night
his; someone bad guy i would think of
his; someone that i would just walkaway and turn back
his;someone would take my breath away
his;someone would just soar your wings and fly away
his; someone you dance with in the night
his;untouchable
his;charming
his;polite[gentleman]
his;endurance
his; la tua cantante
his; near to perfectionist
his ; somebody; i would simply adore

♥my sunshine ♥

Chapter 8; Warm touch♥

is 9.16 morning when im going start blogging walala~
I really don't know what to type larrr

Yesterday ; wanted to be in gurney with her
♥katrina ; gila partner xD
but da idiot stupid farkless digi created havoc
*gasp = farkless is not in dictonary kay
i wanted to call him
another gila ppl to borrow car;
each time i asked he will be
john; joanne,i know what car, right ? !
me; en lar^^ . if cant nvm lor * sour face
john; aiyoyo! your monkey attitude made me so sick !
and finally walala ~ CAR
*his favourite sentence
[see im your good buddy] remember all the words he said
BUT HOR!yesterday i feel like sreaming digi!
for GOOD AND BAD!
ishhhh!! no call no CAR!
cancel joey pulak ishh!
thanks to you ;[ yellow man

then whole evening was skype-ing
ad netcity&usually with xdo
with some bunch of mandarin human
they say me banana girl =[
or ORANG CINA BUKAN CINA!
ishhh@@''
anyway i recongnize some stupid mandarin words
weee~ learning xD
i remember why i'm in cgl afterall
BECAUSE WHEN i write chinese word in mandarin
I WILL CRY AND CRY!=[
even my mandarin name i still cant write properly
so, xD im a bendan xD

then ; im thinking a stupid theme for my slideshow for prom
well; again prom! i can't make up my mind ;
our lame school says ;
can't bring boys
;[

oh ya!! i sudah makan chicken rice for every of my dinner !
dis week;[ most of the time
yeeee!no money eat chicken rice @@gt money eat sushi
night fly home ! ad home macam gud girlxD
afk ad xdo==

ishhh!!
night me on msn and stupid skype again
skype ppl all die de haix
and msn ppl so luan omg!!
omg!! imagine one room chat 6 ppl@@
duno wtf edwin invite me in for!
sumore they interrogate my birthday
MAIN QUESTION WAS
what I want ?
it was thing that they 110% cant fufill
is HIM♥*sigh
♥ sunshine my heart
♥air that i breathe ,O2
*sigh
whole convo i hardly talk omg !! is more to boys talk [ cars ; girls; money ;clubbing]
sei edwin wanna be so called fashion designer =.=!!
and dia punya friend pulak talk bout law to me @@

msn i talk to him;]♥
since so many days we became strangers;
suddenly,back to friends
weeeeeee~
after msn; msg pulak and hp hang 4 times
the power of hang phone weee~
suddenly i felt weird
lie why on earth my phone will hang when im msg=ing
*sigh need change new phone maybe cus to laoya
♥
morning when for medical check -up
doctor says; low sugar level, low blood pressure, low blood count
me; *gasp i regret droping bio xD ; i don't even understand anything he says
thinking whatever~
♥
noon stuck at my usual place
xD aunty told me i need to admit there is lik OMG!!!
yeee~ she din't want me to admit there so we went back to see doctor
I got special privillage ; nt stay there
♥
night was :] fun
;] talk wid him
*sometimes so kek ki and so weird la
semua emotion pun ada~
he sounded lik more to stupid jason lee
yee~ im happy ;] for what he brings me
mr tan;]♥
i dunno what to say lol
because your something special ;]
wee~ ♥

♥ because she needs you more

Chapter 7: Breakthrough Night ♥

day after day;
night after night ;
i'm walking away from the shadow of a person ;
we seem to be stranger at this moment;
Is how we met or never

Emotion is controlling me;
Right now;
I'm telling and pulling me through;
but is HOPELESS

I wanted to stay away from you so badly;
Yet wanna be with you ;
I just wanna walk over ;
I bet you can just walk over easily;
Because to you emotion is nothing

Boundary seems to be the PERFECT word;
Sometimes,
I felt your presence as a
cold; heartless,selfish creature on earth;
But it made me wanna close to you even more;
It regain my own strength;
and just wanna see you fall and crawl like the way i do;
something to near yet to far ;

To me life is just like a battlefield;
For me victory isn't a matter afterall ;
is what i learned after i fall;
Right now, i'm just going let it go;
cold as ice;
dark and quiet night;
I'm walking away from the hatred and illusion world that i used to live with

I surrender everything
Just to live another time
♥my inspiration; no more hatred

Lol
It's been days since i last go to gym;
i went and the first person I saw was NICHALIE=
OMG! yeeeeeee~
i hated him so much;
I cant hide from him forever
So. I met him with a bunch of friends;
and we hangout at the lounge together

I was pissed off;
by his unreasonable attitude ;
I wanted a vodka so much ; its like my medicine;
end up with the mocktail;
is call blue ice;
It really cure my feeling that time ;
wohhoooo
I took only 2 glass xD
and was like haywire@@
I guess is better than chocolates;
it's like catalyst ; react faster and better

John was singing at the lounge
The damn stupid barney song
*sigh ^^ im thinking of mum
and i the only song i was listening to was
Sorry seems to be the hardest word ;blue
I can't help crying
i already forgave him and we're just friends xD

we went for dinner xD
it was salmon streak
my all time favourite
and then to the pool where we enjoy oursleves
before going home
walala~

dis morning i gt a stupid and rude morning call from dat babi
babi josh!
morning2 suruh i go jogging
so lazy and he's doing the same thing tmo
omg!! i cant survive anymore
is holiday!! is my dreamlandxD
then whole afternoon stuck infront of the computer
editing some stuff for xdo xD

and i heard dis song
Go check it out
Homeless by Leona Lewis
Thats what im feeling right now!
=) walala~
*ps ; if don't mind drop me some comment at the chat box bout dis song! xD

♥she's missing him♥

♥ shine♥ chapter6♥

walala~
today morning i m planning to sit at netcity again !
manatau katrina ask me outxD
Go gurney

She was damn nice; fetch me there and back
Then we went for that breeks for lunch
I had spaggethi mushroom and lemonade
walala~
After ; for movie
GIJOE [mission classified]
woots! Is 9 out of 10 i supposed ;)

Then to padini XD
OMG! i wanted that shirt so much T,T
ohya!! we actually shopping for prom
*sigh it reminds me of him again
Seriously, I'm hesitating to go prom
But then again ; i found a dress
Its kinda nice ; and it not that expensive either
I'm keeping myslef busy during prom; doing the system thingy

Then we went some window shopping
and buy a Blouse i guess *
LOL [ELEMENT]


Ini at NICCHI



This looks weird haix dis stupid dress is fit for me@@ but in photo macam sai
MACAM PREGNANT PPL!or maybe im NOT photogenicxD

Dis at Next SHOP!
Left is Katrina [ tight fitting dress]
Right is me [ lOOSE andT-back style dress ] *sigh i look damn fat
T.T

Night i went for litle xdo time at netcity xD
sapu ppl today
and im happy dint let anyone sapu me

♥ UNTRAPMENT

I've learned so many things
from the experiences we've been through
but the hardest lesson, yet, to learn
is how to "unlove" you

I've learned not to fall so hard-
not to fall in love so fast
because, as quickly as it comes into your life,
it can quickly become your past

I've learned not to trust- so much,
to read between the lines
because, if I had known what I now know
I would have known you were never mine

I've learned not to be so open
not to wear my feelings on my face
because, they can be used against you
like they were.. in my case

I've learned to be more honest
to express how I feel
because, you never knew how I felt
because, I kept my feelings sealed

I've learned not to be so accepting
to put someone else before me
because, when I did this for you
you never fulfilled my needs

I've learned it is not always best
to give out a second chance
because when I did this for you
you took me for granted

I've learned not to be so nice
not to be so believing
because you forsook my love
and mistook my kindness for weakness

I've learned NOT to believe
that absence makes the heart grow fonder
because when I tried to give you your space
it made your heart wander

I've learned NOT to be so forgiving
and to try to make things work
because when I did this for you
I only got myself hurt

I've learned so many things
from the experiences we've been through
but the hardest lesson, yet, to learn
is how to "unlove" you

♥capricorn; unicorn lover♥

The Capricorn woman is not just an ordinary woman. Often too serious and mature, she is just waiting for a "warmer" atmosphere meant to allow her to be herself. She won’t be caught gossiping or talking about trifle things, but if she happens to become the centre of attention, you must be prepared for a good laugh.

The Capricorn woman possesses unimaginable resources, many of which are tempered by the fame of this astrological sign as an "old" one. She rather thinks that she doesn’t need to cast pearls before swine.
At first sight, you might be shocked by the Capricorn woman’s lack of charms due to her not paying attention to her way of dressing or to make-up. However, a man claming to be a woman expert, will know how to unleash this hidden femininity and let it manifest naturally and spontaneously. It will reveal in pale hues and elegant lines, which combine old cuts with the latest , all in a conscious neglect of shapes and fragrances.

At first glance, the Capricorn woman doesn’t strike anybody, but her separating from the others, her being silent and her convenient and significant interventions, with a good sense of humour, will make her presence noticed. The Capricorn woman knows how to blend the Pisces woman’s ineffective romanticism with the Scorpio woman’s deliberate assault. So don’t be surprised if you suddenly turn into the main character of a great love affair, which implies both the required discretion and the erotic weapons that you didn’t even guess she had.

The Capricorn woman’s presence in your life could count as a book about lost civilizations or as the entire cinema programme for the last three months. She has a special relation with time, which will lead you to believe that she came either too late or too early into your life
Weird * gasp * 80% are true xD

A Capricorn woman may decorate the society columns, smile demurely behind a political candidate husband or pour mysterious liquids in­to test tubes. But whatever she's doing and whatever she's wearing, Saturn will rule her actions and her secret aims.

She can be ultra-feminine, flirtatious and charming enough to make a man feel like a giant grizzly bear who can protect her from the cold, cruel world. Or she can be icy, quiet and aloof, sitting securely on her marble pedestal and challenging you to be clever enough to win her superior hand. Whichever personality she projects, underneath her womanly wiles or her practical, sensible manner, she has the same goal-a steely determination to snag the right man, who can become important, make her proud and be a good father to her children.

So many Capricorn women are career girls, you might think love and marriage would always be a second choice. With love, you have a point. With marriage, no. The thing to understand is that the Capricorn goals are security, authority, respect and position. It makes little difference if these needs are supplied in front of a blackboard as a school teacher, behind a desk as an executive, or beside an ambitions husband whose social life and home she can manage with easy grace and careful planning. One way or another, the Capricorn woman will get her recog­nition. Some of them get it by writing books, lecturing, painting or composing music. It's surprising how many Capricorns of both sexes have unusual artistic talent.

This is a little delicate, but even the Saturn females you find in burlesque theaters or engaging in the world's oldest profession (there will be only a handful) will end up by marrying the top comic or the theater owner in the first instance-or the wealthiest client in the second. The unicorn must climb. Whether the starting position is high or low, the top of the hill is where she finds the view more satis­fying. There's nothing flashy about the Capricorn female. You'll certainly never see her loudly or obviously pushing and shoving for first place; you may even think she's docile enough to contentedly take a back seat to her competition.

Don't be misled into thinking she'll never sacrifice her career for marriage. Just give this girl half a chance to be a social leader and the mistress of a well-run household, and you'll see how quickly she loses interest in her job (one of the few things she'll do quickly). If you need her to, the Capricorn woman will gladly continue working to help you climb up the mountain of success-she won't be lazy. Otherwise, however, she's happier enjoying her position as your wife, provided the position is a good one, and there's enough financial security.

One of the most typical and delightful things about this woman is her natural breeding and grace of manner. You can meet a Capricorn girl who was raised in a one-room shack across the railroad -tracks, or whose father works the swing shift in a coal mine, but unless she decides to reveal her background (which she probably won't), you'll be convinced she comes from an old-line family, and was turned out by one of the best finishing schools. Such is the Capricorn built-in sense of social grace and conservative, conventional appearances.

Any man who's involved in a relationship with the female unicorn should learn a basic fact about this Sun sign.
She seems to be more even-tempered and emotionally steady [ am i ? *gasp * soon i think ] than she actually is.
Her manner may convince you that she's as firm as a rock and nothing can ruffle her calm surface[ is a 30-70 thing]
The truth is that she's subject to many moods. All women are subject to moods, you say, but the Capricorn girl can have some really black and long-lasting ones. If she feels mistreated or unappreciated, she'll brood for days, weeks, even months. She calls it being sensible or practical, but Saturnine gloominess, pessimism and depression are much more deeply rooted than that.
They're triggered by fear of the future, worry about the present, shame over the past-or a suspicion that she's being made fun of or is inadequate in some way. These women do not accept teasing light *fasp * usually notxD.
Keep it at a minimum. To be honest, they find it impossible to see the joke when they're the victims. You don't have to bury her in compliments constantly (she'll sense when they're insincere, anyway), but don't kid her about important matters, and praise her often enough to make her realize you know her true value.

It's hard for her to relax in romantic situations. There's plenty of physical desire under the cool Capricorn surface, far more than most people suspect, and it's never satisfied casually. Sitting around and wasting time with breathless hugs and ecstatic kisses while the future is still hanging unsettled is definitely not her favorite hobby-yet once she's decided you're the right man and the finances are secure or your ambition is sufficient, shell be as warm as a cuddly panda, affectionate, and even passionate. Capricorns don't believe in vague dreams that glide aimlessly through a misty, blue sky. They want to know where the ship of romance is taking them, and that it's sailing on safe waters. Build a firm foundation under your house if you plan to carry a Capricorn girl over the threshold. Make sure there's plenty of insurance and the mortgage is paid off or will be soon.

Shell probably be something of a social butterfly, ex­tremely aware of etiquette, and she'll lean toward quaint customs like engraved napkin rings and needlepoint chairs. Things must be correct and tradition must be observed at all costs. She may have an inconsistent habit of wanting to shop in the most expensive, exclusive stores, yet insisting on a bargain. She doesn't mind buying a dress that's on sale, as long as it bears the right label.

Capricorn women have a fresh beauty of their own. You'll rarely find one who's not unusually attractive. Yet they are timid and unsure about their appearance, and you may find them needing constant reassurance that they're pretty. Although Capricorn females hate dishonesty in all forms, they're not above lying about their ages. They usually get away with it, too, thanks to the odd Saturn aging twist. They look like little old ladies as children, then bloom suddenly into women who look like young girls when they're past the prime of life.

It would be a terrible mistake to snub her family. The man who marries a Capricorn girl marries her relatives. There's no point in thinking that yours is different. She's not. Somewhere along the line, you'll stop laughing at mother-in-law jokes (you may cry instead). Many times, the Saturn female is the sole support of her family, financially or morally or both. She may care for an ill parent with devotion to the point of relinquishing the idea of marriage completely. Often, she'll enjoy the sacrifice because of her honest love for her family, but even if she re­sents it, her strong sense of responsibility and duty will not permit her to escape.

You might as well resign yourself to flattering your mother-in-law, and hope she's a great gal who's worth it. Don't argue politics with her father, and if you must criticize her brothers and sisters, see that the criticism is constructive, and based on a sincere belief in their po­tentialities. Frequently, Capricoms find themselves bur­dened with distressed or invalid relatives, and the typical will never let love, however consuming it might be, cause them to neglect such obligations.
You'd better start right out by planning to have a guest room or two for visiting relatives. But there's a reverse benefit. You'll have a wife who is kind and considerate toward your own fam­ily. The Capricorn girl will understand if you have to allo­cate a fixed sum to your parents each week, and she'll probably be a companion to your brothers and sisters. She's the kind of girl you take home to meet mother, and mother approves of her immediately*in some case lolx . Since men are so contrary, such instant encouragement can cause them to back away. It's always more fun to fight objections for your lady fair. But you'll only be slicing off your nose to spite your heart, because your mother is right. The Capricorn girl, if she's a typical Saturn woman, will make an excellent wife i dont think so *gasp im not good in cookingxD. The home of a Capricorn woman often looks so effortlessly spotless [when my maid is herexD] and smooth-running you'd think there were little fairies and elves hiding in the comers, working away furiously after midnight to shine and polish and cook and clean. Wrong. The very last place you can expect to find such imaginary creatures is around a Capricorn. The Saturn practicality and faith in firm facts ordinarily pre­cludes any sympathy with the unseen. A Capricorn girl wouldn't believe in leprechauns if one sat right on the tip of her nose. In all fairness, however, although she may not be a way-out dreamer or a follower of occult mys­teries, once she has the solid facts she's able to see the romance and poetry in the most ordinary situations.

Hers is an earthy kind of beauty that can make even the gross and ugly seem lovely with sheer usefulness. She's not a stranger to the gypsy spell of the north wind, nor is she deaf to the silver song of spring showers and the call of a lonely skylark. Great music stirs her deeply, and she's an enchanted patron of almost any art form. Perhaps she has to see and touch magic to believe in it. A leprechaun would probably get much further with her if he came right out and said where that pot of gold is hidden, instead of hinting about it in fairy tales.

Actually, she's a true romantic, with greater imagination than the scatterbrains with unreal fantasies. Every January girl has haunting poetry in her soul, but she doesn't have much sympathy for poets who starve in attics. Take care of the food and rent and then pursue the dream, whatever it may be, is the Capricorn motto. Also make sure that the dream is worth pursuing. She sees nothing glamorous or magical about failure.

You may have to share your Capricorn wife with causes. She'll be a tireless worker for the poor and the defenseless, but she may prefer to show her charity in group efforts, rather than to individuals. Saturnine sympathies are usually organized, seldom scattered. Female Capricoms are natural leaders of women's clubs.

She'll probably instill both thrift and a respect for quality in the youngsters
To her, economy does not have to mean cheap. The children will be expected probably learn excellent manners [ do i have one?]. They won't be pampered or allowed to willfully disobey. If you give her a book on child psychology[ i love child psychology ], she may use it to paddle an unruly offspring and get around to reading it later. She may be a little strict and unsympathetic to their growing pains, but she'll be a fascinated audience for their achievements. who will never be too busy to give her youngsters her interest and attention.
Although she lose more than she'll gain.

Since many Capricorn females have sensitive skin, they don't wear much make-up. Lots of them are allergic to it. But nature rewarded them with natural beauty that needs little gilding, and they'll keep it long after the roses have faded from the cheeks of other women. Some of them startle you with lovely complexions, firm features and bright eyes at the age of eighty and older.

Patiently help your Capricorn woman overcome her lack of personal confidence. She's not unimaginative just be­cause she doesn't court delusion. Try on a couple of her practical dreams for size, and you'll find they're surprisingly comfortable. Stubbornness may be one of her vices, but she's not a whiner or a nervous nag. She'll push you toward success, yet be tender and devoted. In spite of her modest, often gentle ways, she'll know just how to twist you around her little finger. There's a deep richness in her love that's more lasting than the brittle, scorching, demanding love of other women.
Who says she doesn't believe in fairy tales? Only a wise Capricorn maiden could look deep into the eyes of an awkward frog and see that he's really a prince in disguise. Not only that-if you marry her, youll never run out of clean socks.

♥私はあなたがいなくて残念に思います； 私は常にそうします私はあなたがいなくて残念に思います； 私は常にそうします

je vous aime vraiment ; et je toujours faise

when she's walking by the beach
it was a cold night
and lonely enough
The days were endless.
The nights even longer. I didn't know when the day would come that I would see my old self again.
The cancer was killing me slowly, and I was there because i had tried to kill myself so i wouldn't have to live with the terminal cancer anymore.
It hurt me so much.
I couldn't bare it.

Staring at the blank hospital walls was making me crazy.

Of course I knew i would never escape the scars that lined my white wrists.

No one ever does.

My voice is hoarse and scratches my throat on the way out of my mouth, "Can I go home?" I ask quietly to the boy walking by.
"i don't know" he says.
"I'm ready to leave." I sob
"i'm sorry."
I let out an exhausted sigh. I only want to go home. To see my family one last time. I want to go home so i can die knowing they forgive me. I look up slowly at the nurse. His eyes sparkle. Tears spring to mine. "I just want to see them." I whisper, "Please, let me see them."
"You're sick?" he asked, I sigh and nod.

The boy is delicate and beautiful. His brown hair flops into his eyes and his lips part. My mind is consumed with thoughts of him and i know he isn't thinking about me. Can anyone love an emo girl with cancer?
My thoughts are no.

♥ ti amo♥

♥ Resonance ♥ Chapter 5

phew !! today i just finish chemistry 3 and chemistry 4 !
i guess its kinda hard you know= =
i made huge mistake by exchanging the value of initial and final value
after exam is like OMG! huge mistake ! because i correct it @@

Today early morning i went over to the HAPPY MART lolx
buying comb because i left it at home
Lazy walk back *gasp*
Bought twiggies for breakfast * mine is chocolate
When reach school ; guess what? mumu also bought twiggies
and both of us wanted to give each other xD
but he twiggies is the vanila type
xD

I ate mine finish
we gave our another half to some of our friends
Remember? SHARING IS CARING

♥

Basicly , i'm super tired today xD
Lol
anyway tomorrow i will not be in school again xD
Going for the stupid practical thingy at SG2 driving school
OMG ! is going to be another 3 hours !
i wish i could run awayXD
walala~
sleeping pigxD /shh
half asleep but managed to open stupid eyes to see the chemistry book




after waking up ; this is what i wrote before sleeping xD

aunty was saying ; i asked u to study for your own good but end up ? the book is reading you
During the evening jess asked me out ; Lol
and i send her this xD
She said ; aren't you supposed to be studying CHEMISTRY * your fav. Subject?anyway is MISS YOU apart of CHEMISTRY? i din't know i actually study that xD
I said ; = = !! ! IT WONT GO IN xD

walala ~ gone by the wind ~

♥she's walking away ♥

♥pandora misery ♥ chapter 4♥

Pandora was the first female person ever created by the Greek gods. Zeus, the King of the gods, ordered from Hephaestus, the blacksmith, to create a female human form out of earth and water and to make her look as beautiful as the gods.

All Olympian gods contributed to create her looks and personality, either in a positive or in a negative way. For instance Aphrodite, the goddess of love, blessed her with beauty and grace, while Apollo, the god of the music, rather seeded lies into Pandora's soul and Hera, the wife of Zeus, blessed her with extreme curiosity. Because of the many gifts she received, she received the name Pandora (pan+dora, i.e. "all the gifts" or "gifts of all").

On her completion, Pandora was given a jar which she was told by the gods not to touch- however, Pandora was an avid personality and couldn't resist lifting the lid. As soon as the jar was open, all evil spirits were brought to light, such as pain, hunger or greed.




Life of Pandora

Zeus sent her as a wife to Epimetheus, Prometheus' simple brother, and gave her a box that he forbade her to open. Despite Prometheus' warnings, Epimetheus allowed her to open the box and let out all the evils that have since afflicted man. Hope alone remained inside the box.

♥her curiousity left her with nothing but misery for life♥

♥Je t'aime et seulement vous

Le sourire sur votre visage me fait savoir que vous avez besoin de moi

il y a une vérité dans vos yeux disant vous ne me laisserez jamais que

le contact de votre main indique vous m'attraperez quand jamais je
tombe

vous parole il mieux. .when vous dites que rien du tout

toute la journée je peux entendre des personnes parler dehors fort

mais quand vous me tenez près, vous noyez dehors l'essai

de foule comme elles peuvent elles peuvent ne jamais définir

ce qui est dit entre votre coeur et mien

♥JUST FOR YOU♥

♥ reminscence♥ chapter 3♥

I ask myself, baby why did i end up fallin′ for you?

When I look into your eyes

everything i see is true

I feel how much you care

I know you′re always there

You′re on different path, hate to say good-bye

Why can′t you be with me?

I ask myself, now why couldn′t i call out to you at all?

Every night I pray that you could be here with me

So you could only see

See how much i love you

And how much this is true

Everytime i see you

i didn′t know what to do

Everytime i hold you, i feel all of you

Really wanna tell you, i wouldn′t be able to live without you

Everytime i close my eyes i see you

I can′t bear to see myself without you

Without the comfort you share with me, there′s nothing more i could do

I feel how much you care

i thank you for being there

When i met you didn′t know what to do

When we met I didn′t see the true you

I know and you know that we have been friends and the best of friends

♥doushite=)

Love as cold as ice ♥ meaning xD

It's not your fault those hands are freezing

Borne from those childish days

you carry the scars

Are you afraid to love someone?

You pretend not to see the other side of the words

Like ice, the embraced heart slowly starts to thaw*

For anyone to be loved by someone

Makes life in this world shine

If it was me, I'd make your heart warm once more

With eternal tenderness

Even if fate's mischief pains the heart

On the other side of those tears

A single ray of light will swoop down into the darkness

We know

As strong as the feeling of suffering

we can feel people's warmth

Everyone is searching for a place

That can heal their sadness and loneliness

So... for you, that place is here

Don't be afraid, don't hesitate anymore

My heart is pained

Because this love is so beautiful

don't be afraid

Even if it's just momentarily

I'll let you know my love

This time is beautiful, you know... let you know my love

*gasp nice meaning rite?LOL

*sobbing*

making xdo movie production

after trials

yesterday was home quarantied for mi

=(

i dint go netcityxD

it was between me and the wall

friend was like saying : comeon!! are you insane*? Lets have fun

im liked : sorry! im not in the good mood *stress*

but guess what?

i was out at 11amxD

drove alone ad the road =)

was msg-ing somone *

and *toot*toot*

hp low battT.T

it off by itslef

So,

hokkien lang call* round island*

is like damn freeky

and its damn cold

anyway thanks jess*

trust me with you car =]

its HONDA CRV

kns= = damn hard drive=[

sumore parking need see camera

and gave me like a less half tank oil

LOL

when i was driving half way near Teluk kumbar

i discover im like running out of oil T.T

lucky enough she have a gprs there

shyt* i dint know how to use a gprs

futher more i waited for the damn gprs to charge

So i finally found xD

then i pump rm30

its like less than half bar-0-

OMG

i dare not drive dat car anymore xD

so ; i drove back to her

she's at mois

damn with alot guys

so ; waited for her to fetch me home

i 'm like waiting at segaxD

and i saw CYNTHIA

OMG !

she 's lik damn skinny xD

she like wif EDWIN TAN

im like omg !

so we chat till 3.30am

so ;

JESS came out

and waited at the car=]

we drove homexD

and ym whole body smells liquor

*ewhhhh*

i went to bathe ad4.10am xD

and sleep ad 4.30

*snore zzz*

morning wake up 6.30am

when for jogging xD

then bathe

sleep back =]

then in front of computer

ltr maybe going to

netcity=]

gym=]

penang swimming club=]

xD

things to OCCUPY MY BRAINLESS BRAINxD

♥twillight chapter 3

its pretty early now xD
5am woots~
i had ntg 2do.
was near 2 the beach
i sat there for quite sometime
like orang bodoh
*sigh*
i promised my mum i would take good care of myslef
answer ;yes, i am xD badly no !
mum: your my litle baby girl! life is like a roller coaster.
be strong.
last word she say then she walked off

during my emo period;
i really wish mum would be there
mum is DAMN IMPORTANT
SHE's MY MOTHER
LOL
she was lol! at the phone sms
mum asked hw's ryan?
im like *what the fuck!
mum; remember dat guy ! dat b0ught u something for lunch. '
he was not like other guy that wanted to kidnap u away xD
me; nit so kua cheong meh?apa kidnap.? bo lang ai xD
anyway he's fine *guess he.
to;d me dat he missed kakak *maid laksa
mum; girl! i know its hard ! be STRONG !=) i hope that youre somebody for me to look up one day,when i need.mum always wanted the best for you! so strive with dilligent.
me; dont wish 2 hard! i unable to do it xD
mum; its up to you,sweety. mom going to prepare breakfast .talk u next time

whatever she saying may help me to overcome it. bUT I NEED DETERMINATION to FINISHED
dat stupid diary still sleeping LOL


sunrise xD


woots~